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Triumph of meanness
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  • Independence Day: Resurgence

    And now they have money and computers to put as much CGI as possible and drown in it.

  • The Finest Hours

    Perfect sample for collection.

    You have one big tanker, sinking. One hysterical girl of no use. And four idiots on amazing rescue mission. Almost forgot. They are also performing rescue mission on a boat that are unsuitable for this mission. As they know that mission is doomed anyway - they don't give a fuck and behave as elite yacht passengers during complete silence.
    With time it became boring, so they played some time in "be submarine" game.
    Without any navigation, just by pure luck and some gods help they found sinking tanker and got all people on board. Not all, but it does not matter, some did not love god good enough. Three times more than possible for boat, god helped and supported them.
    God also silenced storm one minute after they asked.

    Thanks god! Amen!

    And all this is based on real story. Fuck.

  • London Has Fallen

    What happens if you add cheap bad CGI to very stupid script? This shit.
    What happens if you get around 2000 terrorists and one brave American security agent? Lots of fire, 2000 bodies and one brave American security agent, slightly tired if all this shit.
    And all this with horrible editing and pacing (go watch 24 for how it must be done).

  • 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

    Film is really waste of anyone time.

    US and EU destroyed most infrastructure, except oil and gas facilities. Turned country with best life level in Africa into tightly controlled criminal gangs heaven. Made never ending supply for organs, prostitutes and cheap workers for EU capitalists.

    They also made in Benghazi (home of their best criminal friends) embassy and "secret" military and CIA base. Both had been used mostly to organize energy, resources and above mentioned traffic to developed countries.

    So, we come to out "heroes". Our "heroes" want to rescue ambassador, but did not make it. No one know why, as they are supermans and each killed at least hundred or more idiots with AK-47. "Heroes" return to their base, and continue very hard shooting exercises killing 2 or 3 thousands of complete idiots. Yet 2 or 3 had brains and finally used mine-thrower. But they only had 3 or 4 mines, sadly. Final. Titles. ISIS and "failed state", blah, blah, blah. Our "heroes" are safe and with their loving families.

    Yes, complete and utter bullshit.

  • The Impostors

    Another film made without any normal adult supervision. Actors just wrote, directed and laughed at all this themselves.

  • The Pursuit of Happyness, 2006

    Quite good movie, but. If you turn your brains even for a minute - the veil will fall.

    We have farther who badly invested all savings in weird stuff. He is not learning or obtaining skills, he is selling this stuff and it does not sell good. He can not plan ahead, just have illogical hope that things suddenly will change. And they don't.

    Suddenly he see expensive sport car and get info that the owner is.. stockbroker.

    Finally he has very good plan. Set all real things aside and go into interview to become... no, not broker, intern. Without any compensation for work. For quite long time. Without money and living on the street with small child. And without obtaining skills, again. Sounds not so smart? It is. As it is win-win for owners and lose-lose for interns.

    Due to "hard work" he won lottery ticket, became stock broker, got millions, lives in big house and owns sport car. All bough for money of people who live same as he lived before. Each day around 30 people ask who he is. And he recommends amazing chance in interns program in his own firm. It is one year program, no compensation and you must bring more than one million profit to the company to make your application for future work reviewed. Around 90% of all applications are rejected anyway. Usually review committee ask failed applicants to apply for another year, but few agree. They are innate losers.

    Except from reality

    Chris and Jackie engaged in a 30-day drug induced sexual marathon. They did cocaine to enhance their pleasure. Chris even went back east to New York City to meet Jackie's relatives. After returning to San Francisco and discovering that Jackie was pregnant with his son, Chris told Sherry that he was leaving her. At one point in time he was drugs dealer. He beat his wife time to time.

    Gardner did not know the whereabouts of Jackie and Chris Jr. for the first four months of his training. Gardner never emptied out his savings account and was earning money by scamming hotels.

    When he was in the training program to become a stock broker Chris Gardner was paid $1,000 a month by Dean Witter. Dean Witter accepted almost all the trainees in reality.

  • La loi du marché

    Product of "art". Film that for entire length feels like your neighbor drill.
    Not much meaning, just depressing real stuff, horrible camera work, script, editing and writing.

  • A Hologram for the King

    As usual if you have no meaning in your film you need to mumble something about cultures conflict. Short version of the film - bad old western businessman is hired to sell unusable crap to rich oil guys, fails miserably and do few obvious things required by bad script in between.
    And he is also not fully sure if it was good decision to move bikes production to China.

  • The Road, 2009

    The Night is Dark and Full of Terrors. Not from this, but fit.

    Real triumph of idealism and individualism. Mix and match of all fears of developed countries middle class.
    Emotions instead of logic, crime instead of work, god instead of science.

  • 10 Cloverfield Lane

    Real pinnacle of meaningless stuff.
    Authors had been in full blown depression while writing and shooting this stuff, but luckily (for them, not us!) they found pile of good, really powerful drugs. And it shows.

  • Terrordactyl

    Now we have company to Zombievers.

  • The Road Within, 2014

    Three real nutcases go to sea. This is all story in single sentence.
    All else is from kind of "look how they managed to swear", "look how we must feel compassion", etc
    Not bad, but completely meaningless film.

  • Hardcore Henry, 2015

    Fully and absolutely meaningless fps shooter like film shot on gopros. Some of parts are properly planned and remind you of good first person games, but overall it is big waste of time.

  • The Legend of Barney Thomson

    Good dark comedy made intentionally meaningless. Some dialogs really deliver.

    It is also recommended to watch Saving Mr. Banks right after this, as contrast shower.

  • The Nice Guys

    Bad non dark non comedy. Big money went to cars, some action and lots of drugs for writer and director.

  • Flaskepost fra P

    Film about idiots. Idiots in police, religions idiots and one idiot with scissors also related to religion.
    So, boys and girls, stay away from capitalists police, religion and idiots, it is time to start reading Lenin's works.

  • The Bronze

    Fun thing is that it is not bad film. Until you hate curse words or await children comedy. Scenery is written by leading actress for herself and it shows :-) Film has certain style and worth to watch.

    And it has sex scene, so you could wax your carrot at least.

  • Les Visiteurs : La Révolution

    One of the worst sequels ever made (it is 3rd film in series, with two being good fun things, but with big pause).
    Absolutely horrible script and execution.

  • Sicario, 2015

    Highly prized shitty film. As you know, now to get some reward you do not need to make some good scenery and shoot good film. Instead you can just buy some reviews, get some other via connections and instead of film make horrible sunset landscape moving slideshow with some drone shots in between. And why you need here female in leading role who have zero purpose and is overacting like cheap theater actress, I have no idea.

  • The Man Who Knew Infinity, 2015

    Film about quite unusual and talented Indian mathematician. As usual I suggest to check some real story as film is adapted with added non existing dramas, constantly bringing up god while ignoring many core subjects. Big issue is full miscast on main role as Dev Patel replays his role in Slumdog Millionaire and fit poorly in all the story despite trying really hard.
    Script is also of quite poor quality for such film.

  • A History of Violence, 2005

    Film about crime and criminals. Due to some overacting and few cheap tricks it wants to look important, look something more. But it is not.

  • Triple 9

    Criminals again. Now lots of idiots robbing things and getting killed. Avoid like plague.

  • Bastille Day

    Better version of Triple 9. Now stupid guys are robbing crypto currency from gold vault. I am serious. From time to time someone shoots, someone drive cars. All other time was spent on dialogs produced by 4 year old sun of director.

  • The Shallows

    One woman, one pretty seagull, and one always hungry shark eating everything including steel.
    If you are bored and want to kill some time, it'll do, otherwise it is... shallow.

  • Under Suspicion, 1991

    Again criminals and police. Again only interest is someone's money. Lot of parasites fight for money, love for money.