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Triumph of meanness
  • 258 Replies sorted by
  • Sausage Party

    Imagine authors of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs who got their dose of bath salt and multiplied it by ten.

  • Infiltrator

    Fairy tale on how brave US guys organized and later "uncovered" drug finance scheme being inside larger drug traffic scheme made by .. another official US guys. But, of course, all is shown differently.
    Movie also try to show you how not so bad guys are this big criminals.

  • Jason Bourne

    Big PR, big marketing money and actual result that is more appropriate for some heavy drug users young virgins crew of five 17 year olds.

  • Hell or High Water

    Another movie about two horribly stupid criminal idiots. Only good in all this is it seems that 50% of all income went to promotion and PR. All else is utterly bad - script is just awful and illogical, acting is bad, music is even worse.

    Whole film experience can be described in one picture:


    It is rotten creaky almost non working mill.

    500 x 387 - 32K
  • Spectral

    As usual US is spreading democracy, with all same results, this time they bomb the hell out of Moldova. Funniest thing that whole film we won't see even one of their opponents. All we see is some abnormal ghosts that are... secret weapon of horrible regime. All the people on screen are just cardboard figures and all you really wish for them is to die faster. Especially this sick genius who made all and everything US army uses alone, in his spare time, with his bare hands and circular saw. Whole script, logic and attempts to somehow bring science words to this mess are horrible.

    It is not even 3rd rate film, it is something far far below.

  • The Magnificent Seven

    This time studios don't want any risk, so they get some old remake of good film and make another remake. But this time they made sure to throw out all logic and reasons and replace it with horrible action scenes and same special effects.

    You need some completely utterly nuts capitalist, of course. Not usual one, no. Nut capitalist must not just exploit people he has, nope. He likes to shoot any people he see, at random, he also burns church while being in bad mood (place made by capitalists and one of main stands of their prosperity). He'll die painfully, in the end, of course, except this he has no purpose.
    You need six idiots who come to die for no reason provided, at least one had reason, but not told till the end. And you need bunch of people and few wooden houses to be killed and destroyed correspondingly.

    Now all is in place and real capitalists are getting your money for tickets and views of this utter garbage.
    They stole your money and your time, much worse crime compared to all you see in film.

  • Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

    Another hollow movie without normal story and script, just some pretty pictures and CGI. All characters are, as usual, cardboard figures playing some hard to understand role in big budget disaster.

    More interesting is to understand amazing popularity of the book that is source (it is not accurate adaptation). As book is actually 25th variation of Harry Potter style child books. So, why they are so popular in capitalist countries? All of them have in common - some distant fairy tale place, some unusual children (main characters are also special), with some superpowers and some 17th-19th century style teaching and relations, usually also some horrible illogical villains are included and some magically won fight where few characters are always outnumbered and weak. All this is necessary elements of capitalists fairy tale for children. You are special, you can do anything without any materialistic foundation and knowledge, all current problems and horrors can be overcome by going to fairy place, do not go with society to fight your major real problems, keep it up with your friends and relatives, using magic you can always win, and if not win - loose not much. So, where is not such thing as independent press, including children one.

  • Warrior, 2011

    Movie with high rating, but actually it is hollow and smelly as rotten tomato.

    Long story short, we have two brothers and their ex drunk farther who had usually to capitalism issues in the past. Drunk farther properly cared for their children, so do not care about education, and saw their future as fighters in entertainment fights.

    Fast forward to future and we see same brothers who become older but got same little brains. One is waiting foreclosure notice as he wanted big home and bankers did not tell them all details of his loan and modifications in advance. Being "smart" guy, instead of fighting capitalist who did it, he decides to get some money in capitalist sponsored entertainment fight, again.

    Other brother is completely different story, he got into imperialists invasion into Iraq... to get money. Got his unit and his new friend killed by... friendly fire, after this being mad at himself he damaged US tank accidently saving people lifes, and after this went dark. Like secret agent he got back into US under different identity and started hunting capitalists who sent him to this war, wait, err, nope, he just go drunk, beat people and his only dream was to get big money to send them to his friend widow, because widow did not get any compensation from capitalists. Most importantly, by participating in tournament he want to rip off Wall Street capitalist who makes it, do not ask me how.

    Two brothers are quite a pair as easy to understand. To solve all their problems they beat the hell out of cardboard fighters we do not are about. And finally they join to beat capitalist who made this tournament, err, wait, nope. They actually almost kill each other for this money to big entertainment of all capitalists. But almost, so with titles we still have high hope that capitalists and all stupid dudes will have good chance to see same show again in the future.

  • War on Everyone

    Fucking horrible shit. Does not deserve more words even.

  • Arrival

    Most people misunderstand the film. Film being ode of idealism. And idealism in extreme form. Future is certain, life is circle. Learn new language and you will understand this.

    So, film is just one of last breaths of dying, terminally ill social creature who still hope to buy some time take billions with him. least 2 hours of your precious time that will never return.

  • Passengers

    Second straight horror shit from Morten Tyldum.

    Short version for saving your time.

    Deep in the space you have one huge ship with lot of sleep pods with idiots in them, yet 95% of ship space being taken by vine savings, resort hotels and empty hookers rooms (actual hookers are also asleep for now).

    Accidently ship fly through asteroid field, and, as all scientific though had been wasted on pools and fancy lighting, it causes issues. But do not worry. Issues in this film have nothing to do with our galaxy, they are all remain in the Force, driven by the Force... shit.. sorry, had been pulled by fantasy to other direction. But you got the idea. Two small rocks just hit poor ship, one rock awakens Joe Shmuker guy and another hit directly into the reactor core and driving computer, but the Force.. ok.,ok, I stop. But you got the idea.

    So, our Joe Schmuker spend one year sitting near female sleeping pods and masturbating. But finally decides that it is time to try real thing. And he did, he did!

    After he is fully satisfied, it is time to tell Missy Hooker that she is actually amazing writer and not stupid actress playing bad role, as it is usual for her. With this melodrama thing being over it is time for the Force to finally show the power.

    Of course in final part we see amazing, heroic actions of Joe and Missy who literally save the ship and thermonuclear reactor using hammer and all the school knowledge they still had in their head (do not worry, I do not mean alphabet now, it is too advanced).

    After successfully saving ship defying all laws of physics and logic they meet at the floor and open Kamasutra book to explore positions they can try. Strong music start to play and all fades out.

    On all screen in huge white letters existential question appear:
    "What else a man could do if not eat and fuck?"

    And it fades and we see Joe near another sleep pod with pretty female saying:
    "He could eat twice as much and fuck twice as many!"

  • One lady told much batter than I ever could about this:

    "Oh, he's clever, this Disney! ... The very pith of his secret is the enlargement of the animal world and a corresponding deflation of all human values. There is a profound cynicism at the root of his, as of all, sentimentality."

    P.L. Travers

  • The Thirteenth Floor, 1999

    There is good reason why we had Matrix and this film released in almost exactly same time.

    Years prior of 1999 was pinnacle of capitalism, dotcom bubble, idea that now it is end of time, idea that using smart manipulation you can control everything. In other words - idealism in every possible forms in all media products.

    Both movies are pinnacle of idealism in movies. Where is no reality, only some computer simulation (extreme form of idealism). Yet materialistic reality and progress slowly tightened grip on capitalism neck and on such ideas. They still do some inferiour stuff ala Arrival, but trend is definitely down. Few moments are left until you see first crushing bones.

  • Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

    Film is perfect example on how you can't properly match normal people and normal script with too much CGI and extreme wish to get big money.

    More on the origin of such movies and books

  • Silicon Valley, series, 1-3 seasons

    In Russia we had extra simple and fun series called Steep dive

    Short synopsis of it - "Passenger airliner Broiler-747 is inevitably falling down at full speed during all 325 episodes, all this time crew of the airliner bravely fights to save passengers. "

    Actually you just fully heard Silicon Valley main plot line. Small crew of idiots is nosediving their poor startup but something, always against any logic and thanks to god, always come up to save it for another episode.

    Does is show how startup work, even remotely? Absolutely not. May be it shows the progress of startup and maturity process? Nope, zero. It is like caterpillar who refused to do anything, eat tons of LSD and became immortal.

  • Assassins Creed

    Few stupid religions idiots are searching for a way to eliminate all suffering and oppression, any free will, and bring peace and order to the galaxy. Of course, to do it you need to find magic apple and if you have it all is solved. But another small group of honest brave and also religions idiots look after apple to not allow proper things change.

    Long story short, but biggest surprise happens as they finally possess this magic apple, and ... nothing ... nada. So, they cut it in half and found magical flash drive. As they inserted magical flash drive from apple in magical Apple computer they saw big splash screen title and few lines:

    "To find proper way to end suffering, read things below:"

    • Marx works
    • Lenin's works
    • Stalin works
  • Hunt for the Wilderpeople

    That's the typical government. Always trying to step on the little guy just for living his life.

    Form fillers. That's how they get you. Anything you want to do in life, you got to fill out a form.

    And they've got forms for everything. You fill it out, it goes upstairs, and then they make you fill out a new form, just to confirm it was you that filled out the first form.

    And if ever you want to stop filling out forms, well, there's about five different forms for that.

    There are two layers in this film. One external layer is about beautiful New Zealand nature and very simple story that can be developed into interesting film.

    Second layer is more complex. It is about full miscast of each and every of main and secondary characters, except one, but she die suddenly 15 minutes into the film. It is about lack of any real character development, changes or anything. It is about same sin as in any CGI rich movie, but this time it is nature shots instead of CGI. Btw, another good fun actor appears also for 5 minutes and this is his character quote above.

  • Un petit Boulot

    Quite strange and weird film made in France. Guy who lost his job on factory become kind of killer. One thing films shows good is that present life is clearly overvalued.

  • La La Land

    This film actually does not need people. At all, not made for them. They want your money, of course, but you are necessary only as transport of money to their pockets. After the ritual you can be free.
    So, your best behavior must be same as always in case you see big pile of smelly dog sheet. Just get around it, no need to test and later tell everyone your experience. No one really need to know it.

    Considering ratings - initially they just buy reviews and feedback and later it is also

  • Don't Fuck in the Woods

    Can be new records holder :-)

  • Kong: Skull Island - Rise of the King

    Compared to this Zombievers is the pinnacle of filmmaking.

  • Okja

    Film written, shot and consumed by vegetarians.
    Story of huge pet Korean hybrid of pig, hippopotamus and slight addition of bear genes.
    Kids movie for future vegetarians with pig rape and detailed tour to meat plant.
    It was simpler just to get some pretty US dog and tell her story being eaten in Korea , accidently. Just will be not so politically correct.

    CGI is quite good. btw.

  • Polaroid horror flick

    New levels, new levels.

  • King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

    Horrible mix of LOTR, Matrix and some C grade amateur movie.
    You have full, 100% impression that all actors are CGI, and script writer did not leave emergency after heavy overdose while writing all this.

  • 7 Days in Hell

    Tour de Pharmacy

    Another films made without any normal adult supervision. Actors just wrote, directed and laughed at all this themselves.

    Both films try to be funny, but because all we see is just actors and idiots dreams put into film it became total triumph of vulgarity and laziness.