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Short film feedback time - 30 submissions, 30 rejections, where did I go wrong?
  • Hi,

    I'm looking for some constructive feedback on my short film ‘Tom'. It seemed to go down well at a couple of local screenings but unfortunately it was rejected from all 30 film festivals I submitted to. I'd like to find out where I went wrong so I can learn from it.

    Synopsis:

    "Tom is a short drama about family. After his parent’s put pressure on him, 30 year old Tom finally agrees to bring his new girlfriend round to meet them for the first time. Unfortunately, things don't go quite according to plan."

    More details and a list of festivals here:

    http://tonywebber.net/film-festival-submissions/

    Shot on a stock GH2 with FD lenses.

    Thanks for watching.

  • 14 Replies sorted by
  • it's a bit generic isn't it?

  • This feels like a pilot episode for drama series, I was expecting an ending twist and was left wanting to see how their story continues. There is an interesting tension between two main characters, they seem distant and almost repressed. Ending as it is now implies they do not get together, but could do so in a way that sort of sidesteps their daily reality. So an episode or two could explore how they do get together, and after they are emotionally attached to each other the story would be open for more twists. Maybe she dated the drunk driver, or maybe the driver is her alcoholic brother, maybe there are some secrets involved in why she accepted money for dates, things like that.

    Technically quite well executed, nothing detracted from the story.

  • I enjoyed it and I would not view this as a failure at all. It's better than many that I have seen. The build up was good but I also agree that it needed a stronger ending. I want to be devastated. @neokoo had some good ideas but there are many different ways that you could get there.

    I thought that the acting was good, as was the camera work.

    Thanks for sharing.

  • Loved it. Wrong festivals, not wrong film for me.

  • @rockfall This is a good short. Was very intersting plot twist when he pays her 50 pounds. The only reason I could guess for festival rejections would be that the ending sorta leaves you feeling that although the lead character is healing and moving on, he doesn't get what he wants (a new girlfriend/wife). So we feel his life is just stretching out with unfilfilled loneliness....at least for now. Many viewers might find it unsatisying. I think it's interesting.

    On the technical side, most of the film looks great with nice image quality and nice compositions. There are some moments here and there where the composition/framing wasn't pro looking. There were also some moments where the actual image quality looked a bit video-ish. I'd say 75% of the shots look great. The audio for dialogue was pretty good across the board although something sounded a bit off on a few occassions, but 95% of it was fine. Music was pretty good overall.

    I think this was a success - I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing. Maybe the festival people wanted to see something like 'Terms of Endearment'. Maybe look at that film as clue to elevating image quality as well as what some call "emotional payoff".

  • festivals are always a shot in the dark. many many festivals result in friends giving friends awards, especially if they're regional.

  • Yep, who the hell knows. I was turned down for every festival I submitted to a few years ago for a short I did on TBI before it was a huge concern in the military. My DP worked on Star Wars and Indiana Jones so it's not like it looked bad :)

    The only thing I might say is it could be sped up. Think of how many submissions people have to watch and you might only get a min or two before they move on to the next. You have to grab them from the start. I know they only give scripts 10 pages at most before they go on to the next.

  • because I have a bunch of friends who program festivals I hear this all the time.

    Tips for making a short film:

    Along with the standard stuff, decent image, good clear audio, decent performances and story, etc...

    It better have a great ending.

    If it's longer than 3 minutes, That's not good.

    If it's longer than 5 minutes and not entertaining as all hell, get ready for disappointment.

    If it's longer than 10 minutes - it had better be fucking spectacular

    If it's longer than 15 minutes - it had better be the greatest short film in history.

    Shorts programs want to cram in as many films as they can in the 45 minutes to 90 minutes of programming space allotted. Any film longer than 3 minutes that isn't gripping, or spectacular, or funny as hell gets tossed in the rejection pile.

    At one festival they look at running time, and anything over 10 minutes is put in a separate pile called, "Seriously?"

  • It looks good, good sound, good acting, pretty good story, WAY too long.

  • Yep. If you could make it 7 or even 5 min, that might really help it. You'll have to kill a lot of your babies though which is the hardest thing to do.

  • Festivals typically prefer light, comedic crowd-pleasing shorts -- and under 10 minutes, as has been noted. Unless you're a celebrity, or have one in your film, anything over 15 minutes is likely to be a dead loss. Unlikely a screener will even watch the whole thing.

    Consider that U.S. festivals field thousands of shorts and most of the staff is unpaid, which means lots of student-age interns doing the pre-screening. Foreign festivals tend to be state supported, and much better financed, so there may be more consideration for the slush pile material. But they still have to deal with huge volumes.

    If it makes you feel any better, there was a feature called "In the Family", which runs something like 160 minutes and which was rejected by at least 30 U.S. festivals. In frustration, the filmmaker opened it himself in NYC, and got rave reviews in the New York Times and elsewhere. Of course, he still didn't make any money, but you can't have everything.

  • Probably I'm the last person who should write here 'cause I've never shot this kind of projects. Nevertheless and admitting that I convinced myself that Tom was gay and this whole make believe was about that, heres my feedback:

    fuck conventions! but if you want to get in, play by them... till the end :P

    some handheld shots were too shaky (distracted me)

    I visualize it with a more aggressive grading, maybe even "dirty", it's not really that, but everything is too crispy clean and logic 4 me, same with edit; too logic

    didn't think was sooooooooooooooo long, but lacking a bit of characters impromptu (so lets say irrationality / chaos) and a proper ending - here read momentum :-) - big fan of Cassavetes journey, also came to mind Coline Serreau's Chaos, which it is so good that you forgive and forget any videoish whatsoever

    the story is told in a nice way, not taking advantage only of twists, but when it would get interesting it succumbs to a common sense that it's not appealing to me at all; money, loneliness and social hypocrisy in and through human relations is quite a mix to explore! ah and compassion

    on a last note, a regular home printed picture hanging for 2 years in a plastic sleeve with the top open would have gone most certainly beyond recognition, which could also be memory fading away - I know, it's picky, do more drugs then

    All that said I think was well shot, enjoyed the silences, emphatized with the actors and grasp the potential of the story developments. Would I select this in a competition? that would depend on concurrence. gashô

  • Thanks to everyone for taking the time to watch it and leave a comment.

    It's really helpful to hear what people have to say and gives me food for thought. In an earlier draft of the script I had Tom and Emma get together and go on a proper date but I just felt it wrapped things up a bit too neatly. Maybe festivals like neatly.

    Yeah I don't like the handheld shots either, I should have planned that better! Some of the sound suffers from us not having the right sort of mic for the indoor scenes so there was a bit of an echo that I tried to get rid of.

    I'll aim for something shorter and more concise for the next film and work on the ending more. I'll also aim for more consistency with the cinematography and sound.

    That said, maybe I should focus my efforts on something feature length instead since most of my stories seem to be too big for shorter shorts!

    I did learn a lot from making it though.

  • @rockfall I'm sure you'll achieve your goals ;-) Please let me now when your next feat comes out of the oven

    most of my stories seem to be too big for shorter shorts!

    jajjaja that's good, much better than opposite :D                     cheers mate