Dear assembled tech progressives, it’s been a pleasure to attend the rally here in Berlin. Truly a privilege to address so many of you – especially you Tim! – from all corners of the 1935 business community. Deeply humbled I stand here in awe of the courage and bravery you have all shown towards your share prices, let alone the brave battle against inequality, racism and fascism and the manner in how you fight it – By wining and dining the Nazi party leaders at lunch, and giving them a 30% cut of all your imports – negotiated down from 50% already! None of this would be possible of course, without the Pineapple Time Machine Pro (Bleak History Edition). Yes… I see you Tim! OK not such a good first year of sales was it? We saw a lot of returns as a result of a firmware bug which only allowed our customers to travel to 1931 (many are still with us today in fact) but we would not be here ourselves today without it. I won’t sugarcoat it, 2025 had been a terrible year for business. Our inteligentCamera had suffered numerous hallucinations. In some of the photos, fellow silicon valley bosses were depicted doing fascist salutes, and in other pictures the American President himself (of all people!) was pictured in front of a board of economically illiterate tariffs. If his supporters were economically literate they’d be very upset, especially as they’re the ones going to be paying. Alas...
Published By: EOSHD.com blog - Today